Saturday, September 28, 2013
Hindsight
Hindsight
JD Rhode
As I laid in the hospital bed dying
And I have come to terms with that
I heard, in the next room, a mother’s cries
The baby she just delivered was not breathing
The doctors have said they couldn’t fix me-too many things wrong
I had no family to worry about me
So I could only imagine what that mother was going through
I heard once that if somebody dies, a new life can exist
I saw nothing left for me; even if I lived this day, it would be tubes
Pills
Treatments
Until the next time
That is no life, so, I said, “God, if I am to die and go to you now so this child can live
Than let it be so.”
As I laid in the hospital bed dying, I felt no pain but heard two noises:
The droning flat line of my machine and a baby’s first cry…
Years later and looking down from Heaven, I thought about that day
My biggest sacrifice and triumph in one
However, I saw that baby, now a man
One of the most infamous serial killers in all of History
Would I have made the same choice if I knew what I really helped let loose upon the world?
I guess that’s why they say, “Hindsight’s always 20/20.”
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Computer Virus?
After writing the last post, I got a call from a friend who I didn't know had my number. Maybe she looked it up. However, the conversation struck me odd, and I try to listen to my gut.
She said her computer caught a virus, so they now have all her email contacts. She gave me an email subject, so I'd know the email in question was from her and, therefore, safe to open. Something about the conversation, though, was weird; I don't know. Any comments?
Too Long
Hi guys. Yes, it has been way too long since you've heard from me. I can't even say there is a fabulous reason why. I need to get back into this. If you don't know me-maybe you're reading me for the first time, thank you. Thank you, too, to my loyal friends. I am a writer, an amateur photographer, a baker, a craft-maker, and so much more. I have pets and love children.
I need to get back into this. By this, I mean creating, inventing. Living. I am quirky and fun, but I have a strong opinion and rarely sway. Should I stop here, at the introduction? I have nothing to write about this instant and don't want to bore you. I just want to let you know I'm back, and I do have a lot to say.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Only You
How do I begin? This isn’t a poem. The topic I’m bringing up is from my heart and soul. Maybe it will offend somebody, but guess what-one can’t please everybody. If it seems scatter brained, I apologize.
I just drew a blank altogether…
…
There are so many people out there who didn’t start off right-they couldn’t. Maybe a parent was on drugs, maybe a child got beat for nothing. Bullied in school. There are so many situations that drag down good people and make them feel like they don’t exist. I understand. However, the point I will bluntly make is, after a while, the only person doing anything to you is yourself.
It most likely started with somebody telling you you were ugly, or somebody saying you weren’t smart enough. Whatever somebody else said or did, though, you held onto. And now, maybe that person is out of your life, dead, or whatever, but you still want to think you are___. Who are you hurting? Not them.
People make excuses for themselves or others in these hard times: “It isn’t my fault-I was raised around it,” or “She needs the money, and somebody introduced her into it.” Yes, maybe it did start that way, but the cool thing about humans is that we are born with brains in our heads. I hear from enablers-yes, enablers-he/she doesn’t want to do it. No. Anybody who has taken Psychology-or anybody with common sense-knows that if someone finds a situation unpleasurable in any way, they won’t do it (at least for long, if at all). Stop making excuses-you’re not helping anyone.
Without getting too religious, I feel like there is a God. A God who loves you. He wants you to be happy. He gives humans free will, but he understands, in doing so, that may hurt somebody down the line. I believe He puts a teacher, a friend, somebody in our lives who can guide us in a good direction, no matter how bad it started. But no matter how many times this God given angel tries to help you, only you can say, “I am beautiful, I am worth it.” Only you can pull yourself up in the end.
So stop mooching off of these angels. Stop taking pity on yourself, and expecting others to feel sorry for you. Get up, wipe off the dust, and live. Respect others, respect yourself. You are amazing, but only you can tell yourself that.
I just drew a blank altogether…
…
There are so many people out there who didn’t start off right-they couldn’t. Maybe a parent was on drugs, maybe a child got beat for nothing. Bullied in school. There are so many situations that drag down good people and make them feel like they don’t exist. I understand. However, the point I will bluntly make is, after a while, the only person doing anything to you is yourself.
It most likely started with somebody telling you you were ugly, or somebody saying you weren’t smart enough. Whatever somebody else said or did, though, you held onto. And now, maybe that person is out of your life, dead, or whatever, but you still want to think you are___. Who are you hurting? Not them.
People make excuses for themselves or others in these hard times: “It isn’t my fault-I was raised around it,” or “She needs the money, and somebody introduced her into it.” Yes, maybe it did start that way, but the cool thing about humans is that we are born with brains in our heads. I hear from enablers-yes, enablers-he/she doesn’t want to do it. No. Anybody who has taken Psychology-or anybody with common sense-knows that if someone finds a situation unpleasurable in any way, they won’t do it (at least for long, if at all). Stop making excuses-you’re not helping anyone.
Without getting too religious, I feel like there is a God. A God who loves you. He wants you to be happy. He gives humans free will, but he understands, in doing so, that may hurt somebody down the line. I believe He puts a teacher, a friend, somebody in our lives who can guide us in a good direction, no matter how bad it started. But no matter how many times this God given angel tries to help you, only you can say, “I am beautiful, I am worth it.” Only you can pull yourself up in the end.
So stop mooching off of these angels. Stop taking pity on yourself, and expecting others to feel sorry for you. Get up, wipe off the dust, and live. Respect others, respect yourself. You are amazing, but only you can tell yourself that.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Anna Trip: PT 2B
The door opened, and my mom came to greet us. Cool, she made it. I had to change first. The day wasn’t hot, but after sitting in a long, moderately heavy dress for eight hours, I had to change. Sis came in; we left b/friend to talk to our mom. LOL, sorry about that.
We came out, and chatted for a little over an hour. I only get to see my mom about every two years-when I travel to visit her-so I enjoyed it until…
Okay, baby is almost one, and she took her very first steps that particular Saturday. Well, mom said, “Oh, she waited for me to get here to take her first steps.”
Knowing the real situation, which I won’t go into great detail here, however, that upset my sis and me. Then, immediately, she announced she needed to go before it got dark. Okay, unless she made several stops to her 45 min destination, it would not get dark before she got there. I just traveled six hours. And my sis even hardly sees her. Mom claimed she misses her husband, who, thank God, isn’t our dad. So, she left.
Weird, stupid? Should’ve figured.
We ate dinner and talked and had fun. I told sis of my day, and she asked,” Despite being left, which I wouldn’t have done to you, did you have fun?”
I thought only for a second. “Yes, I did.”
We talked about parental units and other stuff till we fell asleep. We were all too tired to watch a movie.
Sunday I’ll run through-I’m tired of typing. We ate breakfast. It looked like it wanted to rain, but I guess it never did. We watched “The Pest”, and I met sis’ dad-in-law. We ate lunch, then I had to go. Six hours, or so, later, I got home to a messy house, which I was actually surprised to see. The end.
We came out, and chatted for a little over an hour. I only get to see my mom about every two years-when I travel to visit her-so I enjoyed it until…
Okay, baby is almost one, and she took her very first steps that particular Saturday. Well, mom said, “Oh, she waited for me to get here to take her first steps.”
Knowing the real situation, which I won’t go into great detail here, however, that upset my sis and me. Then, immediately, she announced she needed to go before it got dark. Okay, unless she made several stops to her 45 min destination, it would not get dark before she got there. I just traveled six hours. And my sis even hardly sees her. Mom claimed she misses her husband, who, thank God, isn’t our dad. So, she left.
Weird, stupid? Should’ve figured.
We ate dinner and talked and had fun. I told sis of my day, and she asked,” Despite being left, which I wouldn’t have done to you, did you have fun?”
I thought only for a second. “Yes, I did.”
We talked about parental units and other stuff till we fell asleep. We were all too tired to watch a movie.
Sunday I’ll run through-I’m tired of typing. We ate breakfast. It looked like it wanted to rain, but I guess it never did. We watched “The Pest”, and I met sis’ dad-in-law. We ate lunch, then I had to go. Six hours, or so, later, I got home to a messy house, which I was actually surprised to see. The end.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Anna Trip: PT 2A
Saturday:
Hollywood woke me at, I don’t even know. I drifted in and out till 8:30 when sis got up. The house was instantly alive! My sis’ hon and baby came in, and we ate eggs and muffins; mmmm. Then my helper came to get me ready and off we went to Scarborough Faire in Waxahachie. What’s Scarborough Faire? Only the most awesome two mile stretch of renaissance fair on Earth! Oh, poor Hollywood baby couldn’t come-I was sad. Also, my niece had her friend’s b-day party to go to.
Another hour and a half drive. Luckily, I bought tickets early. Scarborough Faire: I used to go every year. I miss it. Barely walking through the gates, I had to get a picture.
We walked in awe (as if I don’t know what it looks like) around shops near the entrance. Then, it was time to buy.
Before finalizing my purchase, a loud BANG was no doubt heard for miles! They shoot an actual cannon at 10 a.m. when they open, at 1 p.m., and at 7 for the close. I love the cannon; I don’t know why-when I go, I hope to hear it once. Whether you want a camel ride, a cloak, a turkey on a stick, a book, a painting, jewelry, or any medieval thing in between, there is a shop for it. My girl decided she wanted to get her face painted, so I waited alone nearby.
Well, a couple minutes turned to several, and I didn’t see her or her b/friend anywhere. I got worried, so a few minutes later, I called her cell phone. She picked up, and I said, “Hey, where are you?”
She announced, “We went to see a show.” Way to stick by your client…or at least communicate, I thought. What if I’d like to see it (which I would’ve liked to)? She said, “I’ll call you when it’s over.” At least I had less to worry about…I guess
I forgot the name of the shop I found, but the owner paints a picture on one side of a dual-sided mirror. I have a few pieces from times past, so I had to get more. A lady (customer) saw me looking and came over to talk. We probably talked a good twenty minutes about our interpretations of each design. Then, finally I chose two to buy.
Immediately, the lady said, “I would like to buy one of those for her.”
Aww, how sweet-what a nice person. “Thank you so much! Are you sure?” I had to ask. Thanks, God. She confirmed her stance, we introduced ourselves, wished each other well, and I was on my way.
My phone rang. Helper was right behind me. We hung out for about fifteen mins before she said she wanted to go buy s/thing else. The shop had steps, but in the minute or two that it took me to find the ramp and get in, they were gone…again. What the hell-are they ditching me on purpose? I really wondered. I gave them a couple more mins before calling. I took pics, flirted with some faire guys, and picked up my phone.
“Hello?”
“Hey, where are you?” I tried to control myself. “You left me again!” She made some excuse that they looked back, and I was gone, and she asked where I was. I said, “Same place where you claimed you were gonna buy something.” Deep breath, Joey. I was mad.
We found each other again and decided to eat lunch-it was 3 p.m.-ish, after all. Mmm, meatball wraps all around. Ooh, and super pretzel! However, eating didn’t ensure Chick’s good attitude-she ordered money from her man and was gone. We followed but to a point. She hadn’t yet gotten her face painted and still wanted to, but her man and I were not allowed to watch; we were told to go away, so we did.
We stood in line at the Tarot reading shop, but a few minutes turned to several, and neither the psychic nor our girl showed themselves. We got tired of waiting, so very slowly the two of us walked around and took more pictures.
Okay, this part gets slightly fuzzy-I mean, I don’t know who called who first, but she was pissed over the very thing she told us to do-leave. The next-last-35 minutes of our stay there was us trying to find her, her hanging up on us, claiming “we shouldn’t have left her”, her calling her b/friend names that were simply uncalled for and heavily exaggerating situations in her favor. It was ridiculous! She’s not a child; give me a break. It was a whole big, damn deal for the next 2 hours, how we stranded her-wtf? I mean, I know she’s in her 20s, but her poor man! Needless to say, it really angered me, especially since she smarted off to me thinking she was talking to her other half. Crazy bi***. That was the entire ride back to my sis’.
Hollywood woke me at, I don’t even know. I drifted in and out till 8:30 when sis got up. The house was instantly alive! My sis’ hon and baby came in, and we ate eggs and muffins; mmmm. Then my helper came to get me ready and off we went to Scarborough Faire in Waxahachie. What’s Scarborough Faire? Only the most awesome two mile stretch of renaissance fair on Earth! Oh, poor Hollywood baby couldn’t come-I was sad. Also, my niece had her friend’s b-day party to go to.
Another hour and a half drive. Luckily, I bought tickets early. Scarborough Faire: I used to go every year. I miss it. Barely walking through the gates, I had to get a picture.
We walked in awe (as if I don’t know what it looks like) around shops near the entrance. Then, it was time to buy.
Before finalizing my purchase, a loud BANG was no doubt heard for miles! They shoot an actual cannon at 10 a.m. when they open, at 1 p.m., and at 7 for the close. I love the cannon; I don’t know why-when I go, I hope to hear it once. Whether you want a camel ride, a cloak, a turkey on a stick, a book, a painting, jewelry, or any medieval thing in between, there is a shop for it. My girl decided she wanted to get her face painted, so I waited alone nearby.
Well, a couple minutes turned to several, and I didn’t see her or her b/friend anywhere. I got worried, so a few minutes later, I called her cell phone. She picked up, and I said, “Hey, where are you?”
She announced, “We went to see a show.” Way to stick by your client…or at least communicate, I thought. What if I’d like to see it (which I would’ve liked to)? She said, “I’ll call you when it’s over.” At least I had less to worry about…I guess
I forgot the name of the shop I found, but the owner paints a picture on one side of a dual-sided mirror. I have a few pieces from times past, so I had to get more. A lady (customer) saw me looking and came over to talk. We probably talked a good twenty minutes about our interpretations of each design. Then, finally I chose two to buy.
Immediately, the lady said, “I would like to buy one of those for her.”
Aww, how sweet-what a nice person. “Thank you so much! Are you sure?” I had to ask. Thanks, God. She confirmed her stance, we introduced ourselves, wished each other well, and I was on my way.
My phone rang. Helper was right behind me. We hung out for about fifteen mins before she said she wanted to go buy s/thing else. The shop had steps, but in the minute or two that it took me to find the ramp and get in, they were gone…again. What the hell-are they ditching me on purpose? I really wondered. I gave them a couple more mins before calling. I took pics, flirted with some faire guys, and picked up my phone.
“Hello?”
“Hey, where are you?” I tried to control myself. “You left me again!” She made some excuse that they looked back, and I was gone, and she asked where I was. I said, “Same place where you claimed you were gonna buy something.” Deep breath, Joey. I was mad.
We found each other again and decided to eat lunch-it was 3 p.m.-ish, after all. Mmm, meatball wraps all around. Ooh, and super pretzel! However, eating didn’t ensure Chick’s good attitude-she ordered money from her man and was gone. We followed but to a point. She hadn’t yet gotten her face painted and still wanted to, but her man and I were not allowed to watch; we were told to go away, so we did.
We stood in line at the Tarot reading shop, but a few minutes turned to several, and neither the psychic nor our girl showed themselves. We got tired of waiting, so very slowly the two of us walked around and took more pictures.
Okay, this part gets slightly fuzzy-I mean, I don’t know who called who first, but she was pissed over the very thing she told us to do-leave. The next-last-35 minutes of our stay there was us trying to find her, her hanging up on us, claiming “we shouldn’t have left her”, her calling her b/friend names that were simply uncalled for and heavily exaggerating situations in her favor. It was ridiculous! She’s not a child; give me a break. It was a whole big, damn deal for the next 2 hours, how we stranded her-wtf? I mean, I know she’s in her 20s, but her poor man! Needless to say, it really angered me, especially since she smarted off to me thinking she was talking to her other half. Crazy bi***. That was the entire ride back to my sis’.
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