How do I begin? This isn’t a poem. The topic I’m bringing up is from my heart and soul. Maybe it will offend somebody, but guess what-one can’t please everybody. If it seems scatter brained, I apologize.
I just drew a blank altogether…
…
There are so many people out there who didn’t start off right-they couldn’t. Maybe a parent was on drugs, maybe a child got beat for nothing. Bullied in school. There are so many situations that drag down good people and make them feel like they don’t exist. I understand. However, the point I will bluntly make is, after a while, the only person doing anything to you is yourself.
It most likely started with somebody telling you you were ugly, or somebody saying you weren’t smart enough. Whatever somebody else said or did, though, you held onto. And now, maybe that person is out of your life, dead, or whatever, but you still want to think you are___. Who are you hurting? Not them.
People make excuses for themselves or others in these hard times: “It isn’t my fault-I was raised around it,” or “She needs the money, and somebody introduced her into it.” Yes, maybe it did start that way, but the cool thing about humans is that we are born with brains in our heads. I hear from enablers-yes, enablers-he/she doesn’t want to do it. No. Anybody who has taken Psychology-or anybody with common sense-knows that if someone finds a situation unpleasurable in any way, they won’t do it (at least for long, if at all). Stop making excuses-you’re not helping anyone.
Without getting too religious, I feel like there is a God. A God who loves you. He wants you to be happy. He gives humans free will, but he understands, in doing so, that may hurt somebody down the line. I believe He puts a teacher, a friend, somebody in our lives who can guide us in a good direction, no matter how bad it started. But no matter how many times this God given angel tries to help you, only you can say, “I am beautiful, I am worth it.” Only you can pull yourself up in the end.
So stop mooching off of these angels. Stop taking pity on yourself, and expecting others to feel sorry for you. Get up, wipe off the dust, and live. Respect others, respect yourself. You are amazing, but only you can tell yourself that.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Anna Trip: PT 2B
The door opened, and my mom came to greet us. Cool, she made it. I had to change first. The day wasn’t hot, but after sitting in a long, moderately heavy dress for eight hours, I had to change. Sis came in; we left b/friend to talk to our mom. LOL, sorry about that.
We came out, and chatted for a little over an hour. I only get to see my mom about every two years-when I travel to visit her-so I enjoyed it until…
Okay, baby is almost one, and she took her very first steps that particular Saturday. Well, mom said, “Oh, she waited for me to get here to take her first steps.”
Knowing the real situation, which I won’t go into great detail here, however, that upset my sis and me. Then, immediately, she announced she needed to go before it got dark. Okay, unless she made several stops to her 45 min destination, it would not get dark before she got there. I just traveled six hours. And my sis even hardly sees her. Mom claimed she misses her husband, who, thank God, isn’t our dad. So, she left.
Weird, stupid? Should’ve figured.
We ate dinner and talked and had fun. I told sis of my day, and she asked,” Despite being left, which I wouldn’t have done to you, did you have fun?”
I thought only for a second. “Yes, I did.”
We talked about parental units and other stuff till we fell asleep. We were all too tired to watch a movie.
Sunday I’ll run through-I’m tired of typing. We ate breakfast. It looked like it wanted to rain, but I guess it never did. We watched “The Pest”, and I met sis’ dad-in-law. We ate lunch, then I had to go. Six hours, or so, later, I got home to a messy house, which I was actually surprised to see. The end.
We came out, and chatted for a little over an hour. I only get to see my mom about every two years-when I travel to visit her-so I enjoyed it until…
Okay, baby is almost one, and she took her very first steps that particular Saturday. Well, mom said, “Oh, she waited for me to get here to take her first steps.”
Knowing the real situation, which I won’t go into great detail here, however, that upset my sis and me. Then, immediately, she announced she needed to go before it got dark. Okay, unless she made several stops to her 45 min destination, it would not get dark before she got there. I just traveled six hours. And my sis even hardly sees her. Mom claimed she misses her husband, who, thank God, isn’t our dad. So, she left.
Weird, stupid? Should’ve figured.
We ate dinner and talked and had fun. I told sis of my day, and she asked,” Despite being left, which I wouldn’t have done to you, did you have fun?”
I thought only for a second. “Yes, I did.”
We talked about parental units and other stuff till we fell asleep. We were all too tired to watch a movie.
Sunday I’ll run through-I’m tired of typing. We ate breakfast. It looked like it wanted to rain, but I guess it never did. We watched “The Pest”, and I met sis’ dad-in-law. We ate lunch, then I had to go. Six hours, or so, later, I got home to a messy house, which I was actually surprised to see. The end.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Anna Trip: PT 2A
Saturday:
Hollywood woke me at, I don’t even know. I drifted in and out till 8:30 when sis got up. The house was instantly alive! My sis’ hon and baby came in, and we ate eggs and muffins; mmmm. Then my helper came to get me ready and off we went to Scarborough Faire in Waxahachie. What’s Scarborough Faire? Only the most awesome two mile stretch of renaissance fair on Earth! Oh, poor Hollywood baby couldn’t come-I was sad. Also, my niece had her friend’s b-day party to go to.
Another hour and a half drive. Luckily, I bought tickets early. Scarborough Faire: I used to go every year. I miss it. Barely walking through the gates, I had to get a picture.
We walked in awe (as if I don’t know what it looks like) around shops near the entrance. Then, it was time to buy.
Before finalizing my purchase, a loud BANG was no doubt heard for miles! They shoot an actual cannon at 10 a.m. when they open, at 1 p.m., and at 7 for the close. I love the cannon; I don’t know why-when I go, I hope to hear it once. Whether you want a camel ride, a cloak, a turkey on a stick, a book, a painting, jewelry, or any medieval thing in between, there is a shop for it. My girl decided she wanted to get her face painted, so I waited alone nearby.
Well, a couple minutes turned to several, and I didn’t see her or her b/friend anywhere. I got worried, so a few minutes later, I called her cell phone. She picked up, and I said, “Hey, where are you?”
She announced, “We went to see a show.” Way to stick by your client…or at least communicate, I thought. What if I’d like to see it (which I would’ve liked to)? She said, “I’ll call you when it’s over.” At least I had less to worry about…I guess
I forgot the name of the shop I found, but the owner paints a picture on one side of a dual-sided mirror. I have a few pieces from times past, so I had to get more. A lady (customer) saw me looking and came over to talk. We probably talked a good twenty minutes about our interpretations of each design. Then, finally I chose two to buy.
Immediately, the lady said, “I would like to buy one of those for her.”
Aww, how sweet-what a nice person. “Thank you so much! Are you sure?” I had to ask. Thanks, God. She confirmed her stance, we introduced ourselves, wished each other well, and I was on my way.
My phone rang. Helper was right behind me. We hung out for about fifteen mins before she said she wanted to go buy s/thing else. The shop had steps, but in the minute or two that it took me to find the ramp and get in, they were gone…again. What the hell-are they ditching me on purpose? I really wondered. I gave them a couple more mins before calling. I took pics, flirted with some faire guys, and picked up my phone.
“Hello?”
“Hey, where are you?” I tried to control myself. “You left me again!” She made some excuse that they looked back, and I was gone, and she asked where I was. I said, “Same place where you claimed you were gonna buy something.” Deep breath, Joey. I was mad.
We found each other again and decided to eat lunch-it was 3 p.m.-ish, after all. Mmm, meatball wraps all around. Ooh, and super pretzel! However, eating didn’t ensure Chick’s good attitude-she ordered money from her man and was gone. We followed but to a point. She hadn’t yet gotten her face painted and still wanted to, but her man and I were not allowed to watch; we were told to go away, so we did.
We stood in line at the Tarot reading shop, but a few minutes turned to several, and neither the psychic nor our girl showed themselves. We got tired of waiting, so very slowly the two of us walked around and took more pictures.
Okay, this part gets slightly fuzzy-I mean, I don’t know who called who first, but she was pissed over the very thing she told us to do-leave. The next-last-35 minutes of our stay there was us trying to find her, her hanging up on us, claiming “we shouldn’t have left her”, her calling her b/friend names that were simply uncalled for and heavily exaggerating situations in her favor. It was ridiculous! She’s not a child; give me a break. It was a whole big, damn deal for the next 2 hours, how we stranded her-wtf? I mean, I know she’s in her 20s, but her poor man! Needless to say, it really angered me, especially since she smarted off to me thinking she was talking to her other half. Crazy bi***. That was the entire ride back to my sis’.
Hollywood woke me at, I don’t even know. I drifted in and out till 8:30 when sis got up. The house was instantly alive! My sis’ hon and baby came in, and we ate eggs and muffins; mmmm. Then my helper came to get me ready and off we went to Scarborough Faire in Waxahachie. What’s Scarborough Faire? Only the most awesome two mile stretch of renaissance fair on Earth! Oh, poor Hollywood baby couldn’t come-I was sad. Also, my niece had her friend’s b-day party to go to.
Another hour and a half drive. Luckily, I bought tickets early. Scarborough Faire: I used to go every year. I miss it. Barely walking through the gates, I had to get a picture.
We walked in awe (as if I don’t know what it looks like) around shops near the entrance. Then, it was time to buy.
Before finalizing my purchase, a loud BANG was no doubt heard for miles! They shoot an actual cannon at 10 a.m. when they open, at 1 p.m., and at 7 for the close. I love the cannon; I don’t know why-when I go, I hope to hear it once. Whether you want a camel ride, a cloak, a turkey on a stick, a book, a painting, jewelry, or any medieval thing in between, there is a shop for it. My girl decided she wanted to get her face painted, so I waited alone nearby.
Well, a couple minutes turned to several, and I didn’t see her or her b/friend anywhere. I got worried, so a few minutes later, I called her cell phone. She picked up, and I said, “Hey, where are you?”
She announced, “We went to see a show.” Way to stick by your client…or at least communicate, I thought. What if I’d like to see it (which I would’ve liked to)? She said, “I’ll call you when it’s over.” At least I had less to worry about…I guess
I forgot the name of the shop I found, but the owner paints a picture on one side of a dual-sided mirror. I have a few pieces from times past, so I had to get more. A lady (customer) saw me looking and came over to talk. We probably talked a good twenty minutes about our interpretations of each design. Then, finally I chose two to buy.
Immediately, the lady said, “I would like to buy one of those for her.”
Aww, how sweet-what a nice person. “Thank you so much! Are you sure?” I had to ask. Thanks, God. She confirmed her stance, we introduced ourselves, wished each other well, and I was on my way.
My phone rang. Helper was right behind me. We hung out for about fifteen mins before she said she wanted to go buy s/thing else. The shop had steps, but in the minute or two that it took me to find the ramp and get in, they were gone…again. What the hell-are they ditching me on purpose? I really wondered. I gave them a couple more mins before calling. I took pics, flirted with some faire guys, and picked up my phone.
“Hello?”
“Hey, where are you?” I tried to control myself. “You left me again!” She made some excuse that they looked back, and I was gone, and she asked where I was. I said, “Same place where you claimed you were gonna buy something.” Deep breath, Joey. I was mad.
We found each other again and decided to eat lunch-it was 3 p.m.-ish, after all. Mmm, meatball wraps all around. Ooh, and super pretzel! However, eating didn’t ensure Chick’s good attitude-she ordered money from her man and was gone. We followed but to a point. She hadn’t yet gotten her face painted and still wanted to, but her man and I were not allowed to watch; we were told to go away, so we did.
We stood in line at the Tarot reading shop, but a few minutes turned to several, and neither the psychic nor our girl showed themselves. We got tired of waiting, so very slowly the two of us walked around and took more pictures.
Okay, this part gets slightly fuzzy-I mean, I don’t know who called who first, but she was pissed over the very thing she told us to do-leave. The next-last-35 minutes of our stay there was us trying to find her, her hanging up on us, claiming “we shouldn’t have left her”, her calling her b/friend names that were simply uncalled for and heavily exaggerating situations in her favor. It was ridiculous! She’s not a child; give me a break. It was a whole big, damn deal for the next 2 hours, how we stranded her-wtf? I mean, I know she’s in her 20s, but her poor man! Needless to say, it really angered me, especially since she smarted off to me thinking she was talking to her other half. Crazy bi***. That was the entire ride back to my sis’.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Anna Trip
Friday:
Before I mention anything, I need to make clear that names may be harder to cover up (you know I never say people’s names if I can help it)…
My niece will be one in 2 weeks. I never met her, so all year, I pushed to see her in May. And since my trip taking was so fortunate as of late, I figured, why screw it up? So, I asked my helpers to see who could help me and quickly got a positive answer. She thought her hon would love to go, too.
Well, May 7 came, and Hollywood and I were ready to go by 9 a.m.; I made sure to explain to him how much fun it’d be. Chick wasn’t ready, though, so I thought of something else to do. But then, I waited until 11:30-about 2 hours longer than I would’ve left if I could drive. The joys of being a crip.
So, to make an 8+ hour story somewhat shorter, as that’s how long it took us to make a 6 hour journey, we ate candy, talked, laughed, and stopped for a quick break. Somehow, Abernathy got thrown into the mix again, lol-see Amarillo trip for the gag on that. We got stuck in horrible traffic for a while and were forced to slow from 75mphr-35-40. That sucked, but it was funny to get on the service road to bypass all of it and see a black truck follow our lead. We did it, black truck-way to bend the rules. He was grateful we had the idea. But then someone lost the map and arguing occurred between the drivers. Another map was generated, and we were on our way.
7:30-8 p.m. finally reared its head as we got to my sister’s. It was funny-once in Anna, we got lost again and asked people where to go. The 2 people we asked know my sis. What are the odds?
Even seeing my sis as the door opened made the whole thing worth it-we were instantly happy. (Oh, first, we found a hotel for my drivers, just a few mins away.) I took pics, we ate dinner, and my niece opened the presents I got her. She loves them! Then, sis and I watched “Tiny Toons: How I Spent My Summer Vacation”, always a favorite, talked about our family, children, and God and what He says about respect, equality, relationships, and porn. Then we fell asleep. Hollywood was fine until he saw that the cat walked freely while he had to stay in his crate.
Part two (Saturday) coming up.
Before I mention anything, I need to make clear that names may be harder to cover up (you know I never say people’s names if I can help it)…
My niece will be one in 2 weeks. I never met her, so all year, I pushed to see her in May. And since my trip taking was so fortunate as of late, I figured, why screw it up? So, I asked my helpers to see who could help me and quickly got a positive answer. She thought her hon would love to go, too.
Well, May 7 came, and Hollywood and I were ready to go by 9 a.m.; I made sure to explain to him how much fun it’d be. Chick wasn’t ready, though, so I thought of something else to do. But then, I waited until 11:30-about 2 hours longer than I would’ve left if I could drive. The joys of being a crip.
So, to make an 8+ hour story somewhat shorter, as that’s how long it took us to make a 6 hour journey, we ate candy, talked, laughed, and stopped for a quick break. Somehow, Abernathy got thrown into the mix again, lol-see Amarillo trip for the gag on that. We got stuck in horrible traffic for a while and were forced to slow from 75mphr-35-40. That sucked, but it was funny to get on the service road to bypass all of it and see a black truck follow our lead. We did it, black truck-way to bend the rules. He was grateful we had the idea. But then someone lost the map and arguing occurred between the drivers. Another map was generated, and we were on our way.
7:30-8 p.m. finally reared its head as we got to my sister’s. It was funny-once in Anna, we got lost again and asked people where to go. The 2 people we asked know my sis. What are the odds?
Even seeing my sis as the door opened made the whole thing worth it-we were instantly happy. (Oh, first, we found a hotel for my drivers, just a few mins away.) I took pics, we ate dinner, and my niece opened the presents I got her. She loves them! Then, sis and I watched “Tiny Toons: How I Spent My Summer Vacation”, always a favorite, talked about our family, children, and God and what He says about respect, equality, relationships, and porn. Then we fell asleep. Hollywood was fine until he saw that the cat walked freely while he had to stay in his crate.
Part two (Saturday) coming up.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Ultimatum
Ultimatum
JD Rhode
You once gave me an ultimatum. You said
"Love me for who I am, or go home."
For years have I loved you, despite it all
but now it's my turn to give the ultimatum-
"Love me for who I am, or leave."
If you don't want to love me, than I know
though the years would have been wasted
there is somebody out there who'd be happy to do just that
JD Rhode
You once gave me an ultimatum. You said
"Love me for who I am, or go home."
For years have I loved you, despite it all
but now it's my turn to give the ultimatum-
"Love me for who I am, or leave."
If you don't want to love me, than I know
though the years would have been wasted
there is somebody out there who'd be happy to do just that
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Bash
Bash (Me)
JD Rhode
You think you hurt me
You think you’ve won
But all you do when you bash me
Is make me realize you’re an even bigger asshole than I thought
Only now, this time
You brought a child into it
A child that we don’t even have yet
You said I won’t make a good mom-
You agree with those who say I can’t do it
I “can’t even pick up a doll”
That’s why I’m practicing, fucker
And besides
Who are you to talk?
Our dogs don’t even hang around you
I don’t see you practicing on anything
Only bashing me for trying
How dare you bring that into the mix
If that isn’t bad enough
You try to make me feel worse because I ask for help-
While somebody is sitting next to me, no less-
So I don’t have to work quite so hard
Nice try
You didn’t phase me
All you did is make me finally decide
I don’t want kids with you
If that’s how you bash me
JD Rhode
You think you hurt me
You think you’ve won
But all you do when you bash me
Is make me realize you’re an even bigger asshole than I thought
Only now, this time
You brought a child into it
A child that we don’t even have yet
You said I won’t make a good mom-
You agree with those who say I can’t do it
I “can’t even pick up a doll”
That’s why I’m practicing, fucker
And besides
Who are you to talk?
Our dogs don’t even hang around you
I don’t see you practicing on anything
Only bashing me for trying
How dare you bring that into the mix
If that isn’t bad enough
You try to make me feel worse because I ask for help-
While somebody is sitting next to me, no less-
So I don’t have to work quite so hard
Nice try
You didn’t phase me
All you did is make me finally decide
I don’t want kids with you
If that’s how you bash me
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