Never Look Back

Never Look Back
JD Rhode


Where should I begin? I’d start by saying Dear “Whoever”, but I’m not sure if this is a letter. You know, cutting to the chase, that I dream quite a bit and also that I often-about 80% of the time-remember my dreams. Well, speaking percentages, roughly 75% of those I remember are good, happy dreams.

You know, the ones where you wake up thinking, “God, I wish I didn’t hear that alarm.” That’s me most of the time. I have no physical alarm, just the one in my head that works too well for somebody who has no children.

I dream I can walk. I dream of happier times with my family. I dream of those who I write about. I dream of people or animals who have since passed (or past, IDK which). I dream I’m happy. Even the scary dreams are somehow adventurous and worthwhile.

So, as indicated, only about 25% of dreams I remember are ones in which I’m glad I woke when I did. But the funny, or upsetting, thing about that is most of those dreams now consist of my spouse and I arguing or otherwise not on good terms. Let me say, no dream I have had yet with my spouse in it has been a good, happy dream. Weird, huh.

So, where is this going? The life I lead today is hardly the life I’ve envisioned for myself. Those who know me-I mean, really know me-know my struggle. But what nobody knows yet is that I have recently been given a choice-a gift of sorts: stay in this life that tortures and demeans me so or live forever in my wondrous dream world.

That’s running away, I already hear you think. However, no, it isn’t. My dreams aren’t carefree. They are full of business, chores, intrigue, creativity, love, life, and so much more. They are mysteries just waiting for me to close my eyes and discover them. There, less than here, am I called stupid, worthless, or any other degrading name. I am a queen. So I say, with no regret, shortly I am leaving. I’m taking my savior up on the offer so you just might get that peace and quiet after all. I loved you once, but life, not just my existence, awaits, and I will never look back. Goodbye.