How Have You Been?

Hi guys (remember, NYer here, haha).  So, let's see; it's 2022, and I haven't posted an update in...how long?  I've had some pretty terrible things happen.  I want to start with a really awesome thing first; I don't believe I've mentioned it.  Nothing this cool occurred in a long time before this, and nothing this cool since...

December 15, 2018 Gas Monkey Bar N' Grill, Dallas, TX

Stabbing Westward reunited!  They’d been on tours for, I think, a year and a half.  We missed a show March 2017, Houston, I think.  So, in September-when I heard about this one-my mind was already made.  We had to go.  Jason’s caregiver went with us to Odessa, so, when he told her about this, she was like, “Oh, those guys we saw in Odessa?”  LOL.  She was on board, but driving to Dallas is kind of a task, since I don’t live there now, so I tried finding a friend or caregiver of mine to go.  Several people said yes, then no, so it was frustrating.  Finally, I found somebody who said she’d go and didn’t change her mind.  I was so happy.

But it turned out she just wanted an excuse to get drunk and cheat on her bf; damn.  Jason’s helper did almost everything for him and me L

So, starting in October, I asked family and friends if they wanted to meet for lunch, since I’m hardly in Dallas anymore.  I was sad that, of everybody I asked, only one person, a sister I hadn’t seen in 20 years, met us, but I was so happy she came!

Okay, I bet you’re wondering when this segment’s gonna get good.  In case you didn’t know, it was the Darkest Days 20^th anniversary tour, so, guess what, I wore that white DD T-shirt.  Yes, the one I (might have) hit Christopher Hall with twenty years ago, lol.  We had no idea the concert was held outside.  I don’t know, maybe the night’s low was 40 degrees.  I was fucking freezing, but I had to show everybody my shirt, even after the first band played, and Jason bought me a hoodie and put his on, I just held mine.

We watched the second band-most of it, but we went back to the merch table to see if any member of SW was there.  I was on a mission; I brought Little Debbie provisions for them, but also…

Who knows I’m an author?  Well, I am.  I hope a good one.  I’d thought to bring a signed copy of my novel and give it to Chris-after all, I have so many meaningful things he’s signed for me.  Of course I wrote a little something, too.  Everybody gets their own personal message.

(BTW, how are you liking the SW song title puns?  Have you noticed them?)

So, sparing random details, Christopher stood at the table, but I faced a different direction, talking to Jason.  He looked over and said, “There’s Chris.”  I think I did a double-take.  But Jason persisted, “Go over there.”  (Can you tell I’m a writer, lol.)

I walked the whole, what, six feet but stood there like a weirdo.  I urged myself, Joey, cut it out and say hi.  He was talking to somebody, but who wouldn’t notice a weirdo just standing still and eyeing you, right, so he came over, said hi, and I got a hug.  He asked if I wanted to get a picture.  Say yes, crazy lady, I was thinking.  I said yes, and he got some guy to take a few.  I forgot if he got one with Jason first, or if I gave him my stuff first.  However, when I did, I was so nervous!  Why?  I said I had stuff in a bag behind my chair for him.  He seemed to like the treats.  Then, I told him I wrote that book and signed it for him, since I have tons of signed stuff from him.  I said I heard that he likes fantasy stories, so I hope he likes mine, but “you can tell me if you don’t.”  LOL, I hope he likes it.  (Hey-much later-my mind just wandered back there.  I’m not purposely adding stuff that simply wasn’t there, but I think he said I look beautiful.  I love when men do that.)

I can’t remember what happened next, but, oh, Christopher signed my awesome, old shirt.  I think they were about to go on, so we wedged our way as close as possible.  There were two guys in front of me, and Jason sat behind me.  The dudes didn’t want to move, but I told myself to just calm down-Chris obviously knew I was there.

But I was worried-what if I couldn’t see through those guys?

No problem.

The band took their places, and Chris spotted me, just behind the dudes.  I was happy he already found me, but…

But right before they started playing, sweet Christopher took the mic and said, “Everybody, take care of Joey!”  Nobody could know how important he made me feel!  When somebody goes to see SW, the band makes it seem like they came to see us, but I felt so special, so, insanely happy!  Then, a few seconds later, they started “Darkest Days.”

A super awesome lady behind me offered to take pics and stuff using my camera; she saw I couldn’t get a good angle.  She asked if I was the person Chris referred to.  I was ecstatic to say yes.

Every now and then, Chris crouched or turned or something to see me through those dudes-I thought that was so awesome.  (And-Oct 2019-I have the video somebody put on youtube to prove it.)  But, you know what?  I don’t know how to say this-what emotion is strong enough.  I’ve never been to a concert where everybody sings every word of every song.  It was insane!  Amazing!  I know that isn’t enough, but I can’t think of another word right now.  We were all rocking out; all united.  I’m sure that also made SW feel important and loved.  I was beyond happy to be there!

Sometimes, the things other people think are small are so meaningful and gigantic to me.  Afterwards, we hung out.  I got to meet Walter!  LOL, finally, right?  He’s so awesome and nice, and I told him I went to the show twenty years ago <3  We met Bobby again.  We first met him in 2004, when Orgy came to Odessa.  Come to think of it, it was also a cold night.  We met the members of Orgy, and I got a hug from Jay and Bobby.  Bobby said, “You look absolutely frozen.  If I had a jacket, I’d give it to you.”

LOL, do I have a thing for freezing to near death at great concerts or something?

Anyway, we got a pic with Walter and Bobby-I think Marcus took it, which is sad he wasn’t in it.  Then we wandered to the front of the stage.  Christopher was cleaning up stuff but took a break to say hi again.  AND, J and I realized we forgot something important.  We brought something else for him.  Hehe, I got another hug, btw, and we gave him one of our Two Feet Below shirts (we hoped the size we had on hand would fit him).

If you’re unfamiliar, Two Feet Below is our venture.  We started it in 2018, writing blogs about everything, but how they pertain to or impact us as a disabled couple.  As a side note-or, maybe, it’s the point-whenever Jason and I go to big events, like tattoo conventions, concerts, even out to eat, not only are we the only wheelchair bound pair, but we’ll look around and mmaayybbe find two more individuals scattered around.  Our mission is to unite all people-abled or disabled-through our experiences.  We love when people ask about our disabilities, however, we’ve realized, from some questions, people have no idea what cerebral palsy is or the many types of cp, or about spina bifida, or artificial shunts, or anything.  Yeah, we need more physical help than you might need, but, really, everybody needs help with something.

In 2019, we started sharing our experiences with youtube, yay.

But anyway, this concert was about three weeks before we took to youtube, but we told Christopher about TFB, and he asked if they could help in any way.  Cool.

Of course, eventually, we had to say bye.  That was the best concert of my life!

I need to add this, because this is crazy phenomenal.  I joined a group on fb for ultimate SW/TD fans in Aug 2019.  Yes, we sure are, btw.  I’ve made many friends.  In Oct, a friend and I chatted about this past concert.  I’d seen on fb she went, though she lives in NY, but, of course, we didn’t know each other yet to hang out together.  I asked if she’d seen me at some point.  One thing led to another, and she shared a pic she coincidentally took.  That picture is such a beautiful gift and made me so happy, you have no idea-it is Christopher, lying on the stage, talking with J and me and holding our TFB shirt.  She said Chris’ desire to connect, on a personal level, with somebody was very touching, and that’s why she snapped the shot.  I totally agree!

What else can I say?  I’m still overwhelmed with joy and, I don’t even have the correct words, thinking about all this.  I hope I can add more SW amazingness to this.

Always on my mind and in my heart.